Dark Truths, Emotional Honesty, and Evolutionary Psychology

(The youtube version has some slight semantic changes but is more, or less, the same.)

There are truths in life that are poetically dark or negative. If someone you love dies, their death is certainly a dark truth. There's a permanent hole in your life, and as time goes by and your negative emotions fade, life inevitably still has that hole in it where that person once was. But that hole, that sense of unstoppable personal loss is still the effect of love or connection itself.

The desire for love or connection is likely primary in humans, before survival and sex. The development of an infant and child is effected by how they are raised, their desire for connection is incredibly primal, ignorant of both sex and survival. With the desire for connection being before survival also because of the possibility of intentional suicide, which comes from someone with a perceived future of permanent disconnection, where committing suicide doesn't seem possible with survival as the primary drive of action.

Connection effects emotional stability, and emotional stability effects both our ability to build upon ourselves and to connect positively with others. Independent action is based upon present connection or attachment or the memory of it. Independence and self-love do not exist without connection with other living things, from present experience, to memory, to biological imprinting, as opposed to that of disconnection. The foundation of the biological and sociological probability in human action, emotion, and thought begins with the basic desire for connection or attachment and how its played out in one's life.

To be aware of our own emotions and accept them is emotional honesty. We need emotional honesty as much as we need intellectual honesty, because without it we lose the ability to be emotionally secure, and thus the ability to be more intellectual, physically fit, or grow in some way. Success or excellence is the result of hope and emotional security rooted in emotional honesty as much as intellectual honesty. It seems that female friends generally offer men and women more emotional honesty with themselves, while male friends generally offer more intellectual honesty, and both are needed to be the most adjusted. So from this view, being distanced from one gender on a platonic level is not healthy.

The realm of emotion rewards the thought of immortality, as though it could be a hidden truth as much as a well-crafted lie. While biological science is against the idea of survival after death, there is still the fact that there is more happiness in its uncertainty that comes with the practice of emotional honesty. A practice of uncertainty towards dark truths offers the happiness, satisfaction, or lack of disconnection that allows someone to both be happy and grow in the face of those truths. And in some cases, gives them the emotional security to explore and find a more holistic form of truth that disregards or completes the dark truth.

Looking at human nature primarily through evolutionary biology and psychology is a farce, this is why some like myself, who have tried to do it find ourselves in emotional pain or withdrawing from life in trying to do so.

The lens of attachment theory or connection, first and foremost, offers a radically different view of human beings and mammals. Where sex and survival are part of human nature, but connection is the underlying, ultimate need. Where cheating in relationships, the backsliding into animistic sexuality, which is the male desire for youth and beauty, and the female desire for wealth and status, happens because of a lack of emotional security and awareness of two people's anxieties around connection. And where a human being's relationships and memories effect their behavior, from the secure or loving, to the anxious or unsure, to the withdrawn or dismissive behavior displayed by someone in different social interactions.

The reality is that many dark truths are partial truths. If you give your worldview over to dark truths, they will drain your energy to question them, because the dark and partial truths can make you emotionally dishonest and disconnect you, and the primary need of human beings is connection. People are not inherently dark or selfish, we are the sum-total of our memories and easily distracted.

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