The Rattlesnake and The Robot

"Hitchen's Humanism was 'Contrarionism' but I use a different synonym, 'Rattlesnake Activism'."

"I must be partial to your dark disposition to hear you garble about these things in the afternoon rather than the evening."

"You're partial to everyone's disposition.  But it is the evening, or have you forgotten my old friend?  Have you forgotten that what is shining from the metal blinds is artificial sunlight?  Or not even quite that at all?  It is simply a fantastic glowing blur of some heat-emitting machine."

"Oh.. don't remind me.  I was lying to myself from the start of sundown that it was sunlight.  The booze in my hand just helps with the lie."

"Is the alcohol real or is it just a glass filled with plastic created as a prop to simulate a sophisticated member or poser of some society's forgotten leisure class?"

"Hah!  I really do love this game, where you pretend that I am a robot rather than a man.  You're not the only one who plays it you know.  There are others with wafts of vapor pouring out of their mouths, incessantly probing into my calculating nature from that old couch."

"We'll leave the probing to someone else."

"We'll leave that to no one.. but I would inquire unto you, what apart from my intentional aesthetic causes you to find me sophisticated?"

"Its quite simple really, you condition more than you shampoo."

"If I was to tip this glass upside-down, and no liquid came out of it, would you have a nervous breakdown?'

"Would it matter if I did?  It would only mean that I was more drunk than you."

"Not necessarily, your statement implies my lack of sentience in the case that I am a human creation rather than a human, if I am a human than it could very well mean that my love for the tie and the snifter is as meaningful to me as your fallacious nervous breakdown is horrific to you."

"So I take it that today was a day you used shampoo."

"And there you have it.. no machine has need for these things!  I might as well sip the bottle like its the glass and smoke the steam from a teapot to bring myself to your level of gaudy madness!"

"Nobody drinks tea anymore and I can assure you that my madness is cheapened by your idea that I would ever regard or desire it as an expensive hobby.  I am but a humble, narcissistic man, sipping what appears to be one-third vodka while fighting the innocent, infantile urge to puke all over your floor."

"Your rabid generalization about tea-- which doesn't even apply to you based on what little evidence I have, suggests that you need to put the glass down and visit the restroom."


"It will be the wall between the two doors."

"I trust you have one rather than two."

"Even though I am not of your semantic leanings I can appreciate the need to eliminate segregation in society, but no, I have three, on this floor alone.  At one point, four, but that was a weird chair.."

"Ha!  It seems like only time will tell who is full of vomit and venom and who is full of shit."

"Your drunken jokes are vulgar and if you puke on my carpet I will have you escorted out of this building."

"And so I stand, and I am left with the option of a walk of stoicism, of which I am quite motivated by your sudden appeal to it, or a walk of shame."

"Choose wisely, or I'll blast you into a corpse with the laser beams in my eyes."

"A threat from you was all I needed to leave this room.  The true you of course..  The machine behind the mask."

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